Monday, June 24, 2013

A Happy Happy World

Give us entertainment and we shall revel in it. It is no lesser in its capacity for putting us into a delusional world of happiness than any drugs. Drugs play with our unconscious but today's kind of happiness can delude us in our very conscious state. Sorry I said delusion. I know how real it can get! So, happiness has never been as omnipotent as it is today. It is sold to us on the TV, on the roads, on the radio, on the phone. Everywhere. One Big Happiness Factory. Mass produced happiness available at our door step for attractive prices. It comes in all forms, shapes and sizes, it can also be customised to suit us even better. People we've never met want to make us happy. And they say, it's a win-win, we're happy, they're happy. Our happiness is their happiness. And who doesn't want to be happy? Do we? They want to ensure that we're happy and will settle for nothing less. We can't bear to see you sad, they say. All we need is that dispensable income, and in exchange they give us happiness. We are also told all our life to make ourself capable of attaining such happiness and giving it to others too. So that we are paid for offering similar happiness to others, and we spend all our time trying to make it as happy for them as possible, whatever they can afford of course. Those who cannot afford it obviously don't deserve it, right? They're born to be doomed. Our jobs don't excite us? Nothing to worry! Let us party on the weekends and get it out. Just make sure the job pays us well to at least have our happy weekends for ourselves. Then, we can get married also, that too can be made happy and all those who come for our marriage also can be made happy in exciting ways. No, marriage is just not an event, it is an experience you see. And then we go for a honeymoon in a packaged tour. And then have kids, grow them up and they too can have happy weekends with us. Or get that lovely trip across the planet to a developed country with more happiness, stare in awe at their happiness, but pat our backs and say, we are still a developing country, it’s okay, we will also reach those heights of happiness some day. Our next generation will be even more happy than us. Our very reason for existence is to live a happy life, right?

Monday, June 10, 2013

Eluding gender

Whole vocabularies of words failed me.
No, I can't associate the words delicate or slender or slim with myself
Pretty, neat, gentle, feminine are not for me either
Nor do I have any sharp features
Nor do I sound like a nightingale when I speak. I've never heard one anyways.
Nor do I walk like a swan. It always took such a great effort to lift my feet away from the earth, what with all the gravity.
Nor do I have hair that falls straight behind me. It has always been a wild growth. No, not beautiful curls. It would be broken in places and curl up for support, like wild creepers. It's not jet black either.
I do not eat like a bird. I more often than not eat till I blurp and till my stomach bulges a little.
I do have hair in all the places where it grows naturally and I do not feel the need to shave it away or shape it into thin lines. I'd feel henpecked if I had to shave it all away. I mean, seriously, it doesn't feel all that great to remove all the hair and what with all the itching. Aren't girls supposed to itch either?
Many a times, I have felt a compulsive urge to scratch myself in a public space but had to suppress it while males around me would scratch themselves anywhere and everywhere without the slightest hesitation. Seeing them, I felt a confused mix of emotions of disgust and envy.
My nails never grew into those smooth perfectly curving shapes that can be painted nor were my fingers ever so thin and long to go with painted nails. I have used my teeth most efficiently to cut the calcium. And as we can expect from such efficiency, they were never cut so perfectly to not let any dirt enter.
I could never walk wearing those heels or even the thin sandals meant for "girls". My feet could only be accommodated in the largest sized floaters available in the shoe shops, some times the size available only for males. Well, I did try sandals but it is just so uncomfortable to walk around in them.
I would often sweat and stink while I did, living in a coastal area. I never for all my life that I knew, smelt like any flower that I've known unlike the ladies who always smelt like flowers in all those books.
I have pimples in most seasons. I can't apply those talcum powders without feeling whitewashed or even those creams without feeling painted with a thick layer of wall paint, whatever colour they come in.
My skin was never a uniform colour with the sun angrily reacting with it most of the year.
I thought it was only obvious for me to prefer loose clothes in such a weather but they are supposedly meant only for the older generation.
I don't feel the need to bathe every single day, except in real hot summers if I'm dripping with sweat. It makes more sense to me to bathe before sleeping rather than first thing in the morning when we would anyway be going out to sweat it out, while we are pressed for time in the morning with so many things to do like sipping the coffee or having a good breakfast. Doesn't it seem like too much self-importance to waste so much water on oneself for the ritual value of it by bathing every single day? Such a waste! Whatever happened to our concern to Save Water!

Blah!