Summers irresistibly make us nostalgic. Especially if one has just recently graduated from the phase of being a student and stepped into the formal world where one is forced to put on several masks and hasn't yet come to terms with it. Some may succeed, I say without being disrespectful, I understand their reasons. Some, who may still see scope for engaging themselves in things that'd probably not require them to wear a mask, are often lost in self doubt. Between taking that strong initiative to leave the road taken by many again and again and then to start off on the road not taken so much. It sure seems romantic to read about and write about and probably even when one starts it off and finally after some long years when we looked back. But. There are these whole lot of familiar people who will not find it romantic and would make every effort to kill your romance.
Getting back. Yes, for recent graduates into the formal sphere, summers remind us of the long lazy hot summer afternoons one might've spent. Some might have taken to learning some quick music or doing some doodling or even painting, going for long walks and talks with friends. Oh yes, I am only talking for introverts like myself and not everyone else, especially not those who are more outdoorsy and play cricket under the hot sun. I am speaking for those who love just sitting alone by the sea looking nowhere into the horizon, some writing randomly, scribbling away with the convenience of a laptop that forgives your mistakes more generously than a paper but makes it feel less personal. It takes away just so much in return for its favour. And yes, those several days that you didn't feel bathing was necessary, you just sat there sipping away endlessly flowing coffee or tea and had your eyes glued to the book in your hands, struggling to find a convenient posture, shifting through the pages of the newspaper to see what movies one can catch on the idiot box if at all any, you know for the suprise it offers to find something on television (the name seems rather exciting, doesn't it, as if you're going to have some vision of something) rather than a downloaded one which makes it seem so so deliberate what with the download speed, as if one was collecting rocks from different countries to build a mountain in your backyard to play on. Too much effort and time for unpromising returns without any surprise!
So, it is with these thoughts that I go on sipping away, after leaving a job which I thought was the best thing possible that came my way an year ago which I have recently quit after much brooding on existential questions and spotting deeper discomfort in the head, with too many disturbing questions that might get pushed into the background if left unanswered. Scary thoughts!