I just watched this documentary called Born into Brothels. I sat down wondering when I finished watching it. I can start being critical about it with a go. However, I stopped. I tried to appreciate that it produced at least some feeling in this insensitive head watching it. I kept thinking.
What should I do?
How do I look at the world? There seem to be so many ways to look at it. So many.
I ask questions. What makes people happy and what makes them sad? I realize my questions are not good enough. They are not good enough to get answers that capture the reality, whatever it is, or are.
There’s no one thing or a couple of things that make one happy or sad. It’s much more complex than that. It’s a combination of things of various measures in various contexts. Sometimes, I feel just too helpless. I feel tied up with so many perspectives which do not let me decide how to act. What am I doing anyway? Watching these documentaries and movies and feeling them or thinking about them for a day or two. Then, what?
I never knew if there’s anything I’m good at. Am I even looking at everything around with any sensitivity? Am I really sensitive about things happening around me? Do I feel them? Am I conscious of them? How conscious can one be? Is there a limit? Till where do I go? Where do I stop? Would I know?